I wanted to write about my 34th checkup earlier but since i was fuming mad with my gynae, I decided against writing it down at that moment. This is to avoid from creating an entry full of swear words and stuff, coz then I would not be setting good example for the baby kan.

Anyway, hubby and I went for my now once-in-every-two-weeks checkup last Saturday. As hubby arrived in KL around 7 that morning and we knew the doc won't be in until 9, we thought of having a nap first. It was already planned that we’d be going there earlier in the morning so that we can have more time to spend at home. However, both of us ended up waking at almost 11am. Then after both of us got ready at around 12pm, I wanted to have lunch (or rather brunch) first as I was starving. Tau la pregnant lady kan, tak makan kalau mula la nak pitam la itu la ini.

Anyway, after lunch we straight away took a cab to the hospital (hubby came to KL by bus this week). Upon arriving, we waited for the doc to finish with her other patients. After about half an hour I was called to do the common procedures, urine test, weighing and such. Oh, btw I now weighs 60 kg (gasp!) and baby's weight is already 2.6kg (double gasp!!). Nampak macam there's no chance to deliver a baby who weighs less than 3kg lah..(ni semua wishful thinking gara2 takut sakit la nih kalau baby besar). Owh!takpala as long as he's healthy...

Moving on with the story. Once masuk dalam bilik doc, I saw that she didn't look very happy with me. Before that during my weighing procedures, her maknya assistant (ch*n*se aunty) did asked whether I've been for my hematology appointment and I told her : no, I haven't. So I guess she already informed the doc, thus the reason for her to be unhappy with me.

It was apparent that my guess was correct as upon sitting down the first thing she asked was whether I've been to see the Hematologist as per instructed. I said no, I couldn't get appointment on two Saturdays already, they wanted me to go on weekdays only. I said I wasn't free on weekdays, and hubby's not here bla bla bla.

Then the doc started to get angry with me. She told me in quite a harsh tone of voice not to be too dependant on hubby and all. Said that I didn't take my pregnancy seriously. Also said that she was sure I didn't even plan before I got pregnant, bodo-bodo went into it (her exact sentence okay i'm not exaggerating). Dia marah teruk gak la, melarat sampai cakap what if i mati time deliver, do i want that to happen bla bla bla...

Wah doc, itu suda lebih. Nak marah pun biarla ada limit. I know la it's my fault that I didn't went to see the hematologist like u asked me to. But no need lah to scold me like I'm a 3 year old kiddo who stole her friend's toys or something.

The thing is, with this gynae..hubby and I do have a lil bit of doubt about her motive :

1) I told her ever since the first visit that there's a high probability that I wouldn't be delivering the baby there, coz I wanna do it in Penang. So we suspect that she's trying to get as much money as she can from us during every checkup.

My 1^st argument : Most people I know don't do blood test more than twice. Tapi saya nih dah nak dekat 4-5 kali asyik buat blood test ja. Of coz, each test cost us hundreds of RM.

My 2^nd argument : She knew my iron count was low when I was in my 6-7 months of pregnancy lagi, but didn’t prescribed me the vitamins for anemia in pregnancy. Sebaliknya saya hanya diberi Pramilet, which is a common vitamins for ALL pregnant women, regardless of their iron count. She just doubled the dosage. After hubby (finally) made a call to my doc in Penang asking her opinion on my condition, she asked us to get the Iberet Folic from pharmacy, and I found out that while Pramilet only contains 5mg of iron per tablet, the Iberet Folic contains 105mg of that same substance. And yes, just as u’d think, Pramilet (as bought in her clinic) cost more than the Iberet Folic. Maka kesimpulannya, ignorant kah doc aku ni? *think think*
2) Call me racist, but I'd trust a malay gynae’s ketulusan dan keikhlasan more than I would other races. And this lady, she's not a malay. So go figure. (Again, sorry for the racism).
3) I'm quite sure there are many of us out there who got married and got pregnant without actually planning the whole thing in detail. The plan just form as the pregnancy progress. After all it's our first child, and we're not doctors who've been exposed to these sorts of things during our study years. We learn as we go along.
4) Says who I don't take this pregnancy seriously. For your info you sweet doc, I did go to birthing class and I did lots and lots of reading on my pregnancy. And yes, I did know about the cord blood banking even before you hand me the fliers. (I saw the documentary about it on TV3 many, many months ago okay).

Every time something happen to me I'd start doing research on the cause and effect of it on me and the baby. Tak caya tanya la my colleague. Sometimes I think I do more than most people I know, who spend more time and money on buying baby stuff rather than concentrating on the pregnancy itself.
5) How can she say I'm too dependent on my hubby when the fact is I've been going through most of the pregnancy (8 months now) all by myself?

Let’s see :

1^st trimester : Muntah2 everyday (not just morning but evening as well), no one was there to rub my back or hold my hands to make me feel better. Masa I craved for things to eat, I was here all alone. Paling kuat boleh buat pun I cried if the cravings got too overwhelming. Tak lalu makan: no one to pujuk me to eat or buy me foods to booze my appetite. I had to do all that by myself.

2^nd trimester : When I had this terrible cramp and thought it was due to sciatica, I had to endure it by myself. Terhencut-hencut lah pi klinik sensorang. Crying alone due to the unbearable pain. Started to pitam2. Pitam lah sorang2..pandai-pandai la saya bawak diri. Then, starting to enjoy my 2^nd trimester more and more coz I could feel the baby doing flip flops in my tummy. Who did I share the joy with? NO ONE, I smiled and laughed alone.

3^rd trimester : When I was admitted into the hospital due to bleeding I was sent there by my house mate, not hubby coz he was in Penang. I spent the night alone in the ward, had to hold my tears and be strong. Only Allah knows how scared I was that I might go into an early labor and had to do it alone without anyone by my side. That was the worst moment in my life, having to go through something I’ve had no previous experience and knowledge of, all by myself.

But it’s okay, I understand our situation where hubby can't be there for me all the time coz he's got to be in Penang. I tried to be strong for the baby's sake, tak mau sedih2 as people say that your emotions during pregnancy can affect your baby's emotion as well. Even when my bro in law first went to Pakistan, hubby said that he’d skip coming here for some (alternate) weekends as dia kesian his mom, knowing how sad she’d be when both her sons are not around with her. God knows how badly I needed hubby to be here with me, to share as much we could of these final months of my pregnancy. Tapi takpala, syurga dia kan bawah tapak kaki ibu.

So doc, considering all those things that I’ve had to go through during these past 8 months, takkan la I'm not allowed to manja sikit pun ngan my own husband. AFTER ALL I'M A PREGNANT LADY. PREGNANT LADIES TEND TO BE SENSITIVE kan. Takkan a lady like yourself, having 3-4 kids of your own couldn’t even understand that.

What hurt me is not the fact that she scolded me, but it’s the harsh words that she used and the way she tried to put all the blame on me.

Anyway, since that last checkup I got kinda tawar hati to follow up with her again. Nevertheless, since I'm already 8 months along, there's no choice for me but to continue seeing her. It's too late to change doctor dah pun. I just pray so bad that I'd make it in time to deliver in Penang as per our plan. From my few visits with her, I have this impression that my doc in Penang is more helpful and sincere in dealing with us. Besides, she's a Muslim doc and I'm more comfortable with the idea of her delivering my baby.

So everyone..please, please pray that I will make it in time and able to deliver my darling boy with Doc Rozita in Penang. If God permits...

~The Urban Factor~