2:21 PM

I'm kinda busy today as i need to settle all my works before leaving for KL tomorrow...yeah...there's this sales training that i need to attend for 3 days starting from wednesday and ending on Friday. I'm not sure when i'll be back in Penang-either on the Friday itself after the training or the next day-but i guess I won't be updating here for the whole week.

Well, truthfully, i'm a bit anxious now... i mean of coz i'd love to get all those wonderful knowledge of sales technique and all, and it would be useful once our (mine n Soraya) bussiness plan is put into action. But well, i couldn't help being anxious as i'd be attending the training in the FujiXerox HQ in PJ, and i'm sure there'll be soooooo many people attending it. And me, being a shy, introvert gurl and all (hehehehe...betoi la... I AM shy okie!) ...*sigh*...and plus the fact that most of the people working with this company (FujiXerox) are Chinese, so i'd have to be like very2 courageous and daring so that i won't be left out...Gosh! It hasn't even started but i can't help wishing that it'll end quickly.......

Anyway, the ONLY thing that's holding me up is I'm hoping that I'd get to spend some time in Kinokuniya browsing through booooooks! I DO hope i'd get the chance to go to there....

Okie girls...wish me luck!

~The Urban Factor~

She's so Lucky.....NOT!!!!!
11:10 AM

Why am i always unlucky....Sentiasa ditimpa MALANG...why?????

Why is it that (lately) one moment i was in a happy and cheerful mood...and the next ........ :-(

All things happening around me made me want to avoid marriage as long as i could......

No....I know I won't be happy if I get married...Some people are just meant to be miserable in life, and I'm one of those people....

Sediiiiiiihhhh..........sediiiih sangat............

I'm falling and falling......and there's no one to catch me...........

Sooooo saaaaaaddddd.........

~The Urban Factor~

I'm Back on My Feet!!
9:35 AM

This entry is for all the beautiful girls out there...no matter where you are...dun let what other people say about u bring u down...u r beautiful and will always be...coz..."beauty lies in the eye of the beholder"...

...."Picture this, you're in the ballroom, and prince charming is right across the room from you. You had spent so much time agonizing over what to wear, what to say, over if your smile is sweet enough and if your behavior and manners are as good as you always wanted them to be.. in fact, to your ownself, you feel you've done your best, but behold! In comes Cinderella, dashing all your hopes of even being in the limelight for just a second. Then, you just slide back into the crowd, into all the unknown faces because you know, you're not really good enough anyway. You realize, though you pored over all the small details, you will never be good enough for anything. All those preparation were really done, because that's what was expected of you not because you thought you could be considered SPECIAL.. maybe fairly good, but not SPECIAL!"...

The writing above is a piece taken from a very long blog entry done by my friend Ayu....yeah...I'm sure many of us have had our own share of those pitiful moments ...INCLUDING ME!

I mean...of coz i didn't experience the exact thing as above, but all throughout life...i'd been trying hard to be someone that i wasn't just so that i can make people love me...and yes! I did try to be more feminine and spent so much time agonizing over what to wear, what to say, wondering if my behavior and manners are as sweet as my bf (ex) wanted it to be..just so that he'd be proud of me and so that he'd love me back the way i did him.And to those who'd never experience this kind of thing....THOSE WERE THE WORST MOMENTS IN MY LIFE...EVER!!!And to think that i THOUGHT it was true love...man!!How wrong did i turned out to be.. I wasn't happy even for a second of my life with that guy...but what made me hang on to him, i couldn't really say...coz me myself still couldn't figure it out....

But i suspect it was the image of Prince Charming potrayed by him that made me do whatever it was that he wanted me to...and made me went all out to please him.... Or maybe the fact that i loved sooo much to be in a miserable condition, so the relationship suited my demeanor...i guess that's what really made me hold on...you know how psycho i can get sometimes....

Well....now...I'm glad that we're no longer together coz the whole episode was a very tiring one for me. And in the end, i didn't even get what i was striving for in the first place....his unconditional love and undivided attention....

So...this post is for all u lovely gurls out there...We might not be CINDERELLA...we might not win the attention and affection of Prince Charming...but it's definitely because we DESERVED BETTER than Prince Charming....remember, everything happens for a reason....So girls...enjoy....

You can change your life- if you wanna
You can change your clothes- if you wanna
If you change your mind
Well, that's the way it goes

But I'm gonna keep your jeans
And your old black hat- cause I wanna
They look good on me
You're never gonna get them back

At least not today, not today, not today'cause

If it's over, let it go and
Come tomorrow it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
I'm just a bird that's already flown away

Laugh it off let it go and
When you wake up it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
Haven't you heard that
I'm gonna be okay

You can say you're bored- if you wanna
You can act real tough- if you wanna
You can say you're torn
But I've heard enough
Thank you... you made my mind up for me
When you started to ignore me
Do you see a single tear
It isn't gonna happen here

At least not today, not today, not today 'cause....

If you're over me, I'm already over you
If it's all been done, what is left to do
How can you hang up if the line is dead
If you wanna walk, I'm a step ahead
If you're moving on, I'm already gone
If the light is off then it isn't on

At least not today, not today, not today 'cause......

~The Urban Factor~

The INJUSTICE of it...
2:25 PM

I dun know how to begin this....Yesterday, I was trying not to be obsessed with my unhappiness but today...I was back in the dark pit..The dark and gloomy pit that had been my hideout for many years now...

And here i am again...complaining bout life and the injustice of it all....

But how do i begin????

I'm so messed up...My mind's in a terrible state now...My heart is shattered again and again; that I'm not sure if it could be glued back together....again...

I'm trembling with anger while I'm writing this...How can life treat me this way..What did i do wrong..Dun i deserve even a lil dose of HAPPINESS to light up my discontented life??...Why me??Why this???Why???Why??Why???

This thing that happened to me...THIS UNFAIRNESS...(sigh)..I'm so sick of it...I'm BLOODY TIRED OF IT ALL!!! I feel worn out...jaded...I can't live life this way anymore...It's killing me...Everything happening to me is taking away "the life" in me..I'm so depressed to think that I was such a Happy Girl in school, I'm sure all my frenz remembered me as one heck of a LOUD and BUBBLY girl....glowing with happiness all the time (most of the time anyway). But that was before....

Now...I'm more reserved..and people who knew me ONLY after i left school labeled me as a "loner"...yeah, and i can't help but agree with them...coz I do feel like a LONER living my life the way i do now...

The injustice of my life- it's the reason why i love to dream so much...whenever something bad happen, i'd forced myself not to think of it, not to be drowned in the pool of misery. Instead, I'd make up happy dreams and hide in it, in the world of make-believe, where I'd be giddy with pleasure and delight. But NO! Even a HAPPINESS OFFERED IN DREAMS couldn't last long for me..the green-eyed monster called life- it just had to disrupt it for me. And when the dreams are taken away, i'm jolted back to reality...andthe pain would be more intense than before. It's as if life is trying to punish the girl who tried to deny the suffering it enforced on her...And how unfair could it get......?

I'm giving up.........Seriously...I'm giving it all up.......Come ere life, take what u want from me...Take whatever it is that u want from me..then, LEAVE ME ALONE!!...And get the h**l out of my .................................... LIFE ???!$%#!%!~!!!!????! Argggghhhh!!!!!!!!

~The Urban Factor~

When I'm Gone...(3 Doors Down)
5:58 PM

This song really reflects feeling rite now...SANGAT SANGAT true......

There’s another world inside of me
That you may never see
There’s secrets in this life

That I can’t hide
Somewhere in this darkness
There’s a light that I can’t find
Maybe it’s too far away...
Maybe I’m just blind...
Maybe I’m just blind..

So hold me when I’m here
Love me when I’m wrong
Hold me when I’m scared
And love me when I’m gone
Everything I am
And everything you need
I’ll also be the one
You wanted me to be
I’ll never let you down
Even if I couldI’d give up everything
If only for your good

When your education x-ray
Can not see under my skin
I won’t tell you a damn thing
That I could not tell my friends
Roaming through this darkness
I’m alive but I’m alone
Part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone....(soooo true....part of me is really GONE...and a BIG part at that)

~The Urban Factor~

9:07 AM

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you..
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the wayyou want them to,doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
4.. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches yourheart.
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sittingright beside them knowing you can't have them.
6. Never frown, even when you are sad, becauseyou never know who is falling in love with your smile.
7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrongpeople before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
11. There's always going to be people that hurt youso what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
12. Make yourself a better person and know whoyou are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come whenyou least expect them to.


~The Urban Factor~

A mind twister??
3:23 PM

Ada 3 orang sahabat pegi becuti kat pulau tioman. sampai kat sana, diaorg pun pegi la nak cari resort tempat persantaian diaorg barang semalam cuma.At last dapat laaa satu resort yg sewanya cuma RM30 satu malam.... and since diaorg ni member rapat..diorang pun pakat nak sewa satu bilik je & tanpa banyak soal.. masing2 keluarkan sorang RM10... kira tong2 3 org laaa..... so bila dapat kunci jer... tanpa membuang masa terus jer pegi bilik. lepas dah pegi bilik..... minah cun kat front office tu baru teringat yg laaa ni resort dia tengah buat promotion... so satu bilik cuma RM25 je... minah ni pun panggil bell boy suruh pulangkan balik lagi RM5 kat mamat 3 org tu... on the way nak pulangkan duit tu.. si bell boy ni tepikir yg duit belen ada RM5.. mamat tu ada 3 org... camna nak bagi duit tu sama rata kat diaorg..??? pikir punya pikir last2 mamat ni dapat idea... dia pulangkan sorang RM1 kat mamat tu... then belen lagi RM2... dia ambik buat beli jajan... maknanya.... mamat 3 org tu cuma bayar duit hotel sorang RM9.... total depa bayar.... RM9.00 x 3 = RM27... mamat bell boy tu amik RM2... so total semua sekali RM27 + RM2 = RM29 mana pegi lagi seringgit....?????????????

~The Urban Factor~

Untuk renungan...
3:11 PM

All these while, my blog entries has been all about me. Suddenly this morning-after browsing through some other blogs-I was jolted awake from my obsession of me and my life-and I thought to myself... why dun I put something in here that could really benefit other people reading it..even once in a while pun takpa la kan...at least the blog will have a GOOD purpose rather than just being a place for me to complain about things and life...So here will be the first educational entry- and there'll be many more to come hopefully..

RASULULLAH s.a.w telah bersabda yang bermaksud: "Bacalah surah Yassin kerana ia mengandungi 20 keberkatan", iaitu:
* Apabila orang lapar membaca surah Yassin, ia boleh menjadi kenyang.
* Jika orang tiada pakaian boleh mendapat pakaian.
* Jika orang belum berkahwin akan mendapat jodoh.
* Jika dalam ketakutan boleh hilang perasaan takut.
* Jika terpenjara akan dibebaskan.
* Jika musafir membacanya, akan mendapat kesenangan apa yang dilihatnya.
* Jika tersesat boleh sampai ke tempat yang ditujuinya.
* Jika dibacakan kepada orang yang telah meninggal dunia, Allah meringankan siksanya.
* Jika orang yang dahaga membacanya, hilang rasa hausnya.
* Jika dibacakan kepada orang yang sakit, terhindar daripada penyakitnya.

Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda: "Sesungguhnya setiap sesuatu mempunyai hati dan hati al-Quran itu ialah Yassin. Sesiapa membaca surah Yassin, nescaya Allah menuliskan pahalanya seperti pahala membaca al-Quran sebanyak 10 kali.

* Sabda Rasulullah s.a.w lagi, "Apabila datang ajal orang yang suka membaca surah Yassin pada setiap hari, turunlah beberapa malaikat berbaris bersama Malaikat Maut. Mereka berdoa dan meminta dosanya diampunkan Allah, menyaksikan ketika mayatnya dimandikan dan turut menyembahyangkan jenazahnya".
* Malaikat Maut tidak mahu memaksa mencabut nyawa orang yang suka membaca Yassin sehingga datang Malaikat Redwan dari syurga membawa minuman untuknya. Ketika dia meminumnya alangkah nikmat perasaannya dan dimasukkan ke dalam kubur dengan rasa bahagia dan tidak merasa sakit ketika nyawanya diambil.

* Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda selanjutnya: "Sesiapa bersembahyang sunat dua rakaat pada malam Jumaat, dibaca pada rakaat pertama surah Yassin dan rakaat kedua Tabaroka, Allah jadikan setiap huruf cahaya di hadapannya pada hari kemudian dan dia akan menerima suratan amalannya di tangan kanan dan diberi kesempatan membela 70 orang daripada ahli rumahnya".

~The Urban Factor~

Getting Mushy-mushy....
3:01 PM

Tadi...i was reading Ayu's latest entry in her blog...it was about this guy (dubbed as Tree) who played with a girl's heart(dubbed as Leaf), and finally he lost her to another guy (dubbed as the Wind)....

It made me feel so heartless dan SANGAT tidak bersyukur for always complaining bout my life and love-life, whereas other people who had worse problems than mine are still able to stand on their own two feet and live life to the fullest...So, jadi insaf seketika......

Anyway, tetiba after reading it..dah jadi "mushy-mushy" plak...hehehe...so, again!This entry is for my baby...lagu ni was our first "theme song" la konon..hehehe... ;-p (Ayu jangan muntah naaa!!)...so enjoy....

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
Closer where i Started
Chasing after you

i'm falling even more in love with you
letting go of all i've held onto
i'm standing here until you make me move
i'm hanging by a moment here with you

forgetting all i'm lacking
completely incomplete
i'll take your invitation
you take all of me now..

i'm falling even more in love with you
letting go of all i've held onto
i'm standing here until you make me move
i'm hanging by a moment here with you

i'm living for the only thing i know
i'm running and not quite sure where to go
i don't know what i'm diving into
just hanging by a moment here with you

there's nothing else to lose
nothing left to find
there's nothing in the world
that could change my mind
there is nothing else....

~The Urban Factor~

I'm my OWN girl...(Part 2)
2:45 PM

Finally... after much delay, I'm now able to update the sequel for the previous entry..

So...as I mentioned before, I had never been a fighter in my life. Let me give u an example...let say I wanted something so bad BUT in order to get the thing I have to compete with some other people, I'd rather back off and let the other someone have what I wanted in the first place in order to avoid any conflict with him/her. I'm just not a go-getter, not a highly ambitious gurl who'd go to any length to get what she wants.

BEFORE, when I was small, I was just like any other kids who'd throw tantrums in order to get their parents to buy them what they want. But as time flew by, I grew up to be less and less demanding and more submissive....I mean I DO have my wants and needs but it's usually curb by the restrictions imposed on me by my parents, and by LIFE itself. I learned to accept things as it is..if I can't get something I want so badly, then maybe it's just never meant to be mine. I HATE this kind of thinking I've got, but darn! I have no strength nor the power to be in control of my life...nor the power to have the full reign of my own life.

Living my life feels to me like living someone else's life...as I have to do things according to what other people thought best for me. I didn't had much say in things I wanted to do, and I still don't. Sometimes, alone in my room...brooding over life...I fell suffocated in my own dreams. I have many dreams, and I see myself EXTREMELY happy in all of it.

Unfortunately, my real life is the opposite of it. Okie okie...I'm sure many of u are wondering what I'm trying to say here.Let me be frank...my father is the kind of father who wants his children (especially the daughters) to follow his say. He does the thinking for us, and he's always worrying about our life...I say that sometimes he thinks too much, he's always worrying about things that he shouldn't. Like what would happen if he let us out of his sight...I mean come on la...I'm 25 years old...I'm not a child who can't look after herself. I spent more than 6 years studying in KL, and I came back home in one piece, didn't I?Well...due to this "restriction" imposed to me by my parents, I felt helpless in taking control of my own life or to fulfill my dreams. What's more, LIFE itself seems to be playing the same trick on me - it's rope is binding both my hands and feet...thus crippling me. Finally, I gave up all together to do anything that I want to. And I resort to just relishing my dreams whenever I have the time. AND, that's the reason why I spent much time in my room (not to sleep aaah!) coz u see..dreams are all I have now...Without dreams, I'd be like a bird with broken wings...There'll be no more hope to fly, to be free and happy...

My life experience- since I was small until I grew up to be a lady- made me realized that i can't depend on anyone to make me happy. Every person is one complete entity, there's no such thing as "U Complete Me" or "My Other Half". Of course, whenever I was in my mushy-mushy mood...I'd be saying those things to my sweetie, but we just say it to show our love. People sometimes get silly when they're in love. But the point i'm trying to clarify here is....I am the ONLY PERSON who can make me happy, I alone control the mood "switch" in me. Whenever I'm down, I'm the only one who can cheer me up ... Life has no meaning if I dun have ME to comfort ME, giving ME hope and joy..and it's comforting to know that I can be HAPPY when I become MY OWN GIRL in my OWN WORLD......

~The Urban Factor~

The Reason....
11:31 AM

I luurrrrve this song by Hoostabank very2 much. And as luck would have it, my bf who's working in Dell had a few times won himself a weekly prize of being The Reason (why customer's choose Dell)..which made me lurrrvvveee the song moorrrrreeee coz now i have better "reason" to love it what...hehehe...so here goes...this is exclusively for u baby..

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason.....is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is YOU baby!...

~The Urban Factor~

I'm my OWN girl...(Part 1)
2:04 PM

..."What is a woman, what has she got??..if not herself then she has naught..
to say the things she truly feels..and NOT the words from one who kneels...

This morning while i was browsing through some website...i came upon the saying above...The words touched a spot in my heart. I've always had this idea in my mind of me being my own gurl...meaning that no matter how happy or sad i am..no matter how understanding other people might be of my situation, and no matter how much anyone loves me..I AM still the one who knows me BEST. I'm STILL the one who has to struggle to make life BETTER for me.Most importantly, I have nothing in my life BUT me...and I'll have nothing if i dun have me (and my dreams!)

As a child, i was a carefree lil' gurl who loved to have adventures with my brothers and cousins, though i wasn't really the adventuruos type. As an only gurl in my family, I looked up on my brother and wanted to be like him, played the games he played..I remembered once i made my parents bought me the same "Pedang Thundercat" and Pedang Zorro" that they bought for my brother..At first, they wanted to buy me something more girlish but since I wouldn't take no for an answer, they had to give in. And i was overjoyed to have it though i dun think i enjoyed playing with it as much as i enjoyed playing with my dolls and masak-masak.

Then...growing up, I became a bit of a softie...where i (believe that) i was always being bullied by others. I was never a fighter...and still am not. I mean like, as a child, when myself, my brothers and our cousins played games...it seems like i was always on the losing side. Well...it's true that maybe i just wasn't good enough in the games but the thing is..most of the times when we had quarrels over the games, it seemed that i was always the one who had to give in. The way i remembered it, the others were always taunting me...like it was always my faults for being such a hard-headed girl, that this so-and-so didn't want to play the games anymore because of my hard-headedness. So being a girl with a low self-esteem who always felt that she had to do what other people wanted her to in order to make them like her, I gave in again and again. Don't take me wrongly, i held no grudges over any of them...(in fact i love them all a lot) but i'm just being analytical of my childhood life to arrive to the conclusion that i will make towards the end of this post.... (To be Continued....)

~The Urban Factor~

9:55 AM

It's the Potter's Plotter! Posted by Hello

~The Urban Factor~

UK Papers Report on Roles in "Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince" theft!!
9:50 AM

Posted by CHEESERSource: The Sun/Daily Mirror via Veritaserum

Tabloid UK newspapers The Sun and The Daily Mirror talk about their involvement in yesterday's reported theft of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and the ensuing events:

'The Daily Mirror says they were "approached by a security guard who worked at a distribution warehouse. Burly Aarron Lambert, 19, demanded £30,000 for a sneak look" at the book. The Sun claimed the theif (who they name as Arun) wanted £50,000 and that a gun was fired during their clandestine meeting.

And [Lambert] was soon boasting how he had evaded massive security. "It was very hard," he said. "They've even got foreign contract workers in there so the staff don't know what it's all about. The whole warehouse is on camera - I had to be really careful. I planned it for weeks. They're doing everything they can to stop people getting hold of it. But they couldn't stop me."

With much thanks to DanRadcliffe.com, we have scans of everything:

The Daily Mirror
The Sun article (1/2)
The Sun article (2/2)

Police confirmed last night that Lambert and his 37-year-old accomplice (pictured in that last photo) had been arrested.

JK Rowling has obtained a court order aimed at preventing the men from divulging any content of the book before its release.

(Source from : http://www.hpana.com/news.18620.html)

P/S: Gosh!!Can't wait to get my hands on "HBP" book!All this excitement is KILLING ME!!!! (By the way, I went to place my pre-booking of the book yesterday coz i woke up with pounding heart the night before..having had a dream where all the "HBP" book were sold out the moment it was released!)

~The Urban Factor~

Clocks - Coldplay
2:14 PM

Lights go out and I can’t be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
Have bought me down upon my knees
Oh I beg, I beg and plead
Come out of things unsaid
Shoot an apple off my head
And a trouble that can’t be named
A tiger’s waiting to be tamed

You are...
Confusion that never stops
The closing walls and the ticking clocks
Gonna come back and take you home
I could not stop, that you now know
Come out upon my seas
Cursed missed opportunities
Am I part of the cure
Or am I part of the disease

You are,you are
You are,you are
And nothing else compares
And nothing else compares
You are,you are
Home, home, where I wanted to go
Home, home, where I wanted to go(you are)

P/S: This is all VERY confusing...myLIFE is confusing...while love is deceiving and blinding me..I'm in a TOTAL MESS!!! Somebody help me!!

~The Urban Factor~

I'm A Barbie Gurl...In a Barbie World... ;-}
2:30 PM

What a cute heading i got up there huh...hehehe....My post this time was inspired by Ayu, when she commented on the new design i chose for this blog..(It went something like this lar...)

Me: Ayu, masuk la blog saya, dah tukar appearance....canteeeekkkkk...
(After a few seconds)
Ayu: Hahahaha....mula2 saya pun nak choose that one tapi macam Barbie sangat...rasa macam blog untuk Barbie plak..
Me: Hehehehehe....Time nak pilih tu memang la nampak cam Barbie sket coz sample tu siap ada pictures yang macam gambar Barbie kan...but...I LOVE BARBIE!!!!
Ayu: Hahahaha.. ;-p

So...here comes my new entry, it's gonna be all about Barbie and I....

Looking back to the times when I was a child of about 6 years old until i grew up to be twelve...I was CRAZY about BARBIE! I loved my barbies sooooo much, they were very precious to me as the ONE ring was to Smeagol (if u watch LOTR, then u'll know how attached Smeagol was to the ring). I loved dressing them up in fancy tops and mini skirts, or beautiful & elegant dresses, slipping their tiny lil' feet into beautiful tiny lil' shoes, trying out different hairstyles with colourful hairbands to match the outfits. Once, I was bored with her having the same length hair so I cut it short. Immediately after that, I realized i wasn't supposed to do that...She looked very ugly with her hair looking as if it had been bitten off by a rat! Thankfully, my mum got me a new one, so i had 2 barbies instead of one!!YeaY!!What a clever scheme!!!hehehe...Anyway, playing with barbies was such a fun, fun way to fill my time.

Since I was and still am-an only daughter,My Barbie playmates were no sisters but my cousins-though we were close like sisters. Yun and Cha had a Barbie and a Kent and we loved playing them going out on a date(kecik2 dah gatai...hehehehe), going for holidays, cruising in their cars (we didn't have a real Barbie cars so we had to use pillows, bags and other stuff)....and BEST OF ALL, marrying them up.Hahaha...as a child i had a very romantic idea that when a guy and a gurl get married, they've achieve the highest state of love...sealing their love with a noble entity called "The Marriage". (Sigh: how romantic!) And until now...I still have a very high opinion of marriage, it's not an easy thing to accomplish. It requires lots of sacrifices...but at the same time...it is filled with joy and beauty...and soooo much LOVEsSsSsSsSsS...(Apala Baizurah ni dok melalut masuk bab kawin la plak... ;-p)

Back to our topic, I used to play Barbie with Dura too(my other cousin from my dad's side). My favourite game with her was to make our barbies swim in the pool (we used a basin as the pool )....everytime she came over, we spent sooooo much time in the bathroom that our fingers always seemed to shrink (kecut) after we finished with it...After the swims, we'd be left with little energy to dressed our barbies and play other games..So, I guess that's why my memories of playing barbie with Dura seemed to be limited to those swimming sessions...hehehehe Dura, sori aaaa...tak ingat la...

I guess to kids like me (at that time) playing with Barbie made us feel perfect. I can definitely say, many fantasized that we would be as beautiful as Barbie, with a perfect home, tons of beautiful clothes and accesories and a charming "Kent" by our side. But growing up....reality really hits you....you realized that life is not as u once pictured it to be. Sometimes, God doesn't give u what u wish sooo hard to get but there's always GOOD reasons for it. Maybe God does not make u grow up to be as beautiful as u wanted to be coz if HE did, u might be vain, snobbish and self-centered...God doesn't give u much money coz it might ruin your life and HE blessed ur life with pain and sufferings to make u grow closer to him. And growing up as I did, I begun to realize that there's more to life than flawless beauty and beautiful clothes and a handsome "Kent"...these, which are even more precious than all those, are called love and friendships....Things that u could only get with God's blessings...

A few months back, when I was at Pakcik Ghouse's house...I was caught in the whirl of childhood memories when a distant cousin of mine (Sophia) took out her cute backpack filled with barbies and its accesories. She had 6 Barbies mind you! Smiling to myself for reasons no one knew except me, I joined her and her other friends in the game. This time, I gave them ideas to make their games more fun and exciting.They were all like"kakak, let's do this!! and kakak, let's do that!!" .I was happy to see them enjoying themselves with it, though I must admit that it was very poignant and heartrending to realize that i no longer felt the excitement i once felt every time i played with my barbies.But I'm glad I still have the memories with me..........

P/S: I met the grass-cutting Man again on the way to the office. Damn, i was scared like s***, it showed in my face. People were smiling at me with amusement in their eyes...uwwaaaaa!!!Malunyaaaa!!

~The Urban Factor~