The Engagement of My Bro-Muhd Haikal and his love- Emilia Yusoff
2:21 PM

My twin brothers holding the hantaran, marching up to the house. Posted by Hello

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2:20 PM

The hantaran from our side... Posted by Hello

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2:19 PM

Bekas cincin-without the cincin yet la (done by my cousin:Kak Anom a.k.a Yong)...looks very sweet isn't it?? Posted by Hello

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2:18 PM

The future bride, wife, sister and daughter -in-law...hehehehe Posted by Hello

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A HAPPY day for my BROTHER...and our family too...
2:10 PM

Last Sunday was a HAPPY day for my brother-it was his engagement day! The engagement was held in Shah Alam at her Emis'(her fiance) uncle's house as they didn't want to trouble us by going all the way to Kuantan just for the engagement.

My mum, dad and my twin brothers went there earlier; on the Saturday morning; as we still had to make some last minute preparation. Unfortunately, I couldn't take a leave that Saturday so my brother and I went in the afternoon by bus. We arrived in KL that night around 8 o'clock, and we were fetched by my uncle and other bro (I've got many, many brothers!). We then headed to my cousin's house in Sri Gombak. Upon arriving there i saw many many shoes of all kinds outside, in frontt of the door...Wah!Must be FULL-HOUSE la! And it turned out to be true of coz...the house was packed with all of the relatives..and buzzed with excitement!!!

The first thing i did after went to meet and salam with all the relatives was to head straight to the master bedroom where all the hantaran was kept. The hantarans were decorated by my eldest cousion whom we call Yong. They were very beautiful, all looking very sweet in peach...All in all, there were 11 dulang of sweets, fruits and other type of dry foods. That night was a tiring night for me after the long hours of working and boy!was I glad when finally we went straight to my grandma's house to sleep. I could've been sleeping in the car if not for the chatter around me that kept my eyelids opened. But once arrived at the house, after washingup i went straight to bed and fell asleep instantly.

I woke up the next day to the sound of my brother calling my name over and over again...Kacau la orang nak tidoq!!! Well, of coz it's his BIG DAY tapi jgn la kacau orang lain...lambat lagi la nak pi umah Emi! Anyway, i got up, washed my face and went with him to buy some nasi lemak for everyone...lapaqqqq!!!After that all of us got ready to go the function. Me, Intan and Ayu was the last to get ready as we fussed over everything from how fat we looked in the dress and redoing our make up a few times...and trying out different ways to wear the tudung...hahaha!what can u say....Gurlsss!!! ;-p

Time to move!!! I went with Aunty Pah's car with my mom and the twins..we met the other relatives at Masjid Shah Alam. All in all, there were more than 10 cars meeting there...and after that konvoi skali sampai to her uncle's house.

Upon arriving, all of us assembled a bit far from her house to arrange people to bring the dulang hantaran into the house...Since most of the guys were wearing baju melayu in a shade of cream and brown, it was decided that the guys would bring it in. Man!It was really a rare but awesome sight to see them marching up to the house wearing a complete baju melayu set with sampin and songkok, bringing the dulang with big smiles pasted on their faces! After we've settled in, the event started with a representative from their side making speech to welcome us to their home. Then the elderly discuss the details of the wedding that will take place March next year. My cousins and I were all excited to see Emi (she's my age and we're quite close)...but she wasn't there yet. Pi makeup kot. After quite a long wait..there she appeared in front of the door...Boy!!She was sooo beauuuuuuuutiiifuuulll with her white dress and long veil. Lawa gak kakak ipaq aku sorang nih!But she was damn nervous, you could see it in her face. She gave everyone of us her nervous smiles everytime she saw us looking at her..hahahaha!rilex la Emi...apa nak malu...ce, kata kat orang...nanti time sendiri tengok la camna..hehehe...

After the discussion, came the suap gula ceremony (Emi was munching and munching the sugar as if she was munching some sweets hahaha!pity her! she was really dreading the suap gula ceremony eversince i told her bout it). After that, we took some photograph and proceeded to have our nasi kenduri for lunch. Here comes the BEST part, where most of us ate all we want until we were realy full. The food was real nice, especially the spicy chicken(i love chicken!). But guess what...that night some of us had to go to toilet soooooooo many times...we had diarrhoea!!!Ahhhh....sakit perut gilaaa!!! and not only us...Emi's aunt called my bro the next morning to find out if any of us had upset stomach after the kenduri...hehehehe...

Despite the diarrhooea, it was a really nice and unforgettable experience for see my brother tying the knot (halfway tied baru la) with someone he loves...can't wait for her to be my sis-in-law.I know it's gonna be fun having her as my sister!

~The Urban Factor~

2:09 PM

Upacara menyarungkan cincin : My mum and Emi Posted by Hello

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2:08 PM

Future wives...(Hahahaha!nak jugak tu!) Posted by Hello

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2:06 PM

From left: Cha,Yone, Emi(my sis-in-law to be) Qistina(her niece) and ME!!(Eii!!!Suka sangat pejam mata time ambik gambar!) Posted by Hello

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2:07 AM

The guys holding hantaran from Emi's side...the hantaran was really nice, Emi did everything herself. Posted by Hello

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To all Harry Potter fans!
4:10 PM

Guys, just take the Harry Potter quiz to see which one of the characters resemble you...and after u complete it...leave a comment here to let me know..Please..It will be fun and I'm really anxious to know...Please refer to the Links at ur right hand side for the character quiz...Tq!

~The Urban Factor~

Hari Ini Dalam Sejarah....
11:09 AM

Hari ini dalam sejarah...
It's the second of the most amazing day for me, not seeing a friend of mine-NURIKHWANI IDAYU-who is a "net-addict", online. I'm wondering why, it can't be that she's busy doing her office work...coz knowing this lady, no matter how busy she's she'd still be online..hehehe Ayu, jangan marah aaaa, it's true what?? ;-p I guess it's because she's going to move to a new house today. So maybe she took some time off, in order to pack and move her dozens and dozens of boxes and bags of clothing and other belongings. I'm sure she'd have to make countless trips to the new house just to get all her things there...and that's not counting the trips she'll have to make for the household stuff. Good luck la Ayu!!!

~The Urban Factor~

LaUgH.CrY.ShaRe tHe PAntS.
10:02 AM


Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd pray
I could break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.
Make a wish, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun.
But I won't forget all the ones that I love.
I'll take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jetplane
Far away
And break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.
Make a wish, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun.
But I won't forget all the ones that I love.
I'll take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging with revolving doors
Maybe I don’t know where they’ll take me
Gotta keep movin on movin on
Fly away
Break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.
Though it’s not easy to tell you goodbye
Make a wish, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun.
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away
Break away

~The Urban Factor~

A state of boredom....
2:23 PM

Me: S**t ...I'm damn bored...WTF do i come work here for?
Goog: Mind ur language baby!!! And U think ur the only one feeling bored?
Me: At least i think, or rather I KNOW that i'm the only person on earth CONSTANTLY feeling bored...i mean all the time, and i hate my's very dark, i can't see anything cheerful in it...
Goog: D'oh...(shaking head) u always hate ur life...
Me: It's true! I mean i can't seem to find anything interesting to do.Everyday is just the same..
Goog: U just didn't try hard enuff...
Me: I did...but i dunno what i want...what will make me happy...i still haven't find the ONE thing that can make me feel like my life has meaning....
Goog: D'oh...what about him then?
Me: That's a different thing lar...Of coz i luv him and all...but i need to find a...FOCUS!yea!that's the word...a focus in life...what's ur focus in life Goog?
Goog: Me???? hmmmm....lemme keep u entertained maybe? hahaha...
Me: D'oh...
Goog: Try to be more cheerful lar...
Me: How could i??? it's boring being me....i hate me....isk isk...
Goog: There u go again...u hate u...u hate ur life...what else do u hate??do u hate me too then?
Me: No lar... i dun hate u...i really luv u coz ur always there for me...and u keep me entertained hehehe...
Goog: Hmmm....
Me: But i do hate SOME people in my life; u-know-who ... i wish that they would just disappear into thin air...(Sigh) If wishes are gold, i would be rich by now!
Goog: Why do u have to be soooo....what's the word...hmmmm....sooooo hateful?and vengeful too???
Me: I'm NOT hateful...or vengeful....i just think that some people didn't treat me fair..
Goog: Yeah...yeah...ur always feeling mistreated and misunderstood...
Me: Did not!
Goog: Did too..
Me: Did nooottttt!!!
Goog: Did toooooooo!!
Me: Fine....whatever...
Goog: ...........
Me: Goog, dun u ever get sick of hearing me complaining and moaning over my uneventful life??
Goog: (Sigh)...what can i say...
Me: Do u????just tell me...
Goog: hmmm...not really,coz i'm part of a way i have to try to make u be a better person,it's sort of like my assignment here...
Me: really???hmmmm.....who r u....really??
Goog: D'oh....
Me: Aha!i remember now...ur my imaginary long-lost imaginary friend..u've been gone for so long....what makes u come back?
Goog: To be with keep u add colours to ur make u feel better bout urself...and the list goes on and on..........
Me: Hmmmm....i already feel better...i feel Colourful!!! thankx Goog!!!! MmMmmMwWWwwwAAAaaAaaHhhhhHSssSsSssSSs!!!

~The Urban Factor~

"The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants"...and my very own Sisterhood of ...definitely NO PANTS involved here!
2:27 PM

"The Sisterhood of The Travelling Pants" ... What's that???? Sure,it has got to be a title of a book or something,but it sounds funny,isn't it? and...WELL,frankly,it sounded childish to me.Though i'm still a child at heart...this sounded waaayyyyy too childish for me...A TRAVELLING PANTS????It sounded like something from Enid Blyton (for the target group of 7-12 years old),at least to me it sounded that way.Of coz, at times i still read that kind of books just to fill my time esp. when i feel the need to be in a "carefree-world full of fantasies"..But i dun actually go ga-ga over it like i did with "Harry Potter" and "LOTR"...That was the case until this morning....

When i first heard of The level of curiosity went up a notch...but i didn't really bother to find out bout it.This morning however, i was chatting in YM with a friend and without meaning to, i accidentally click on The Sisterhood IMvironment..Feeling bored at that time with no work to be done, I was attacted to opened the website for The Sisterhood (well, by then i was thinking there was nothing to lose here..if i get bored with it, i could simply shut it down)...But little did I know that the site...-with the heading "LaugH. cRy. ShaRe tHe PantS"-.. is gonna change my life...haha! A bit tragic to say that...not really change my life but more like refreshing my memories of the beautiful friendships i used to have...and still have,only that now -after going through the ups and downs of life- it has risen to a more mature level...

Back to our topic...for those who haven't heard of the story of The goes like this...

"Carmen got the jeans at a thrift shop. They didn’t look all that great: they were worn, dirty, and speckled with bleach. On the night before she and her friends part for the summer, Carmen decides to toss them. But Tibby says they’re great. She'd love to have them. Lena and Bridget also think they’re fabulous. Lena decides that they should all try them on. Whoever they fit best will get them. Nobody knows why, but the pants fit everyone perfectly. Even Carmen (who never thinks she looks good in anything) thinks she looks good in the pants. Over a few bags of cheese puffs, they decide to form a sisterhood and take the vow of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants . . . the next morning, they say good-bye. And then the journey of the pants — and the most memorable summer of their lives — begins. "(Taken from the web:
The 1st Sisterhood book, which is the The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants are followed by the sequel-->The 2nd sumer of The Sisterhood(2nd) and Girls in Pants: the 3rd summer of the Sisterhood (3rd book).

If truth be told, the main thing that attracts me to the story is the way the girls are close to each other like sisters, how different they are in character; yet able to fit in perfectly, and how they each went on their own, different ways of life but still able to remain the BEST of friends...

All these talks about sisterhood and friendship really reminds me of my own tiny circle of friends i've had since i was in the primary school until i completed my higher education in the uni...Among them all, the ones whom i really cherished the friendship and memories are:

Primary School: SK Kg. Jawa
- Siti Salamah : She was my one and only BEST FRIEND during those years.She was there with me through ups and downs...hehehe, i remember one incident where Ustazah scolded me for always being absent for Puteri Islam, and i cried so hard; i mean she scolded me in front of the whole class-that was sooooo embarassing okay- and Salamah was the one who comforted me while patiently listened to my long-winded protest and critism of the Ustazah (ooops sorry ustazah...i regret my childishness back then. I know now what u did was for my own good).
When friends teased me too much and i couldn't take it no more(i was a lil' bit sensitive back then, but not anymore!)... she was the one who "fired" them back...We shared many, many things together, giggling over cute guys, sharing secrets about our crushes(ha!not a secret anymore!hehe) ..but best of all just being able to sit with her during recess and enjoy the blessfull moments together.
Hmmm...i wonder what happens to her now..the last i heard from her was about 4-5 years back. She wrote me a Raya card, and she sounded sad (what with losing her mom and her dad marrying again)...but there was nothing i could've done...she was far in Kedah i think, and she didn't even enclosed her address..I hope I'll be able to see her again...

My Lower Secondary School : SMKA (P) Al-Mashoor:
1) Amilia binti Mansoor : The girl is among my most favourite friends --> she's cool, she's loud, she's full of fun!(i'm using present tense here as she's still the way she was back then, u really dun change much hah Ami!)...Ami and I used to be very close...sooooo close that we always get jealous whenever one of us befriended some other girls and seemed to forget the the other for a while. Back then, she was like my other half la, since none of us had a boyfriend yet: but mind you!we weren't lesbo!! We had so much in which was our passion for window shopping!hehe...and much, much more...we too shared many special moments together...we talked for hours on the phone(i always got scolded by my parents for this..jahat la hang nih Ami!)..we snail-mailed each other once in a while eventhough we saw lots of each other in school (i still have most of ur letter), we sang(or rather croaked like a toad!haha!) we danced (this gurl was so into wasn't really passionate bout it but did it just for the fun of doing stuff with her!)..we even performed together (with some other outsiders) for the "jamuan kelas", singing some acapella song(by the Malaysian boyband-Shades) and doing some dance steps...Time spent with her were most memorable...Memories that shall be cherished forever...All Old Times Are Good Times...aitt Ami??!!??

2) Nurikhwani Idayu : People do of the way to know u is to look at ur friend...this sort of true...coz Ayu sometime reflects my own personality. She's secretive (reflection of me, though maybe i'm not as secretive as she's)...she had an unpredictable mood swing...a bit shy and always had her nose buried in books. But despite her mood swings, i had always been attracted to be friends with her.Maybe because it was a challenge to keep up on friendly terms with her...hehehee...i mean one day she would be full of laughter and smiles...and tup!tup!the next day she would ignore u for no apparent reason, at least none that i could figured out at that time. But now i'm beginning to understand her more...she did what she did because didn't want to burden her friends with her problems...Besides, whenever one of us were in a bad mood or an ugly, sorrowful situations...she was always there to help us through it.
Fortunately, when she was in a cheerful mood, there were many, many exciting things we did together(though now it all seems a bit childish). For instance, back in Form 3, we were sooooo head-over-heels in "lurve" with Yusry KRU..yeah!the two of us did!, we were always fighting over who will get to win HIS HEART! (hey!it was a friendly contest lar..but unfortunate for us, Erra Fazira won his heart...hahahaha ). Ayu always gave me cute staff on special occasions such as my birthday and on Valentines day (for example the cute and practical plastic folder that i used to store my drawings {it was for my birthday}, the cute heart-shaped container filled with delicious chocolate for Valentine...and many2 cards with beautiful friendship wordings, which i soooo cherished)...She's such a sweet friend, a lil' bit hard to understand....but very understanding and.....very cute too!! (i used to pretend to vomit whenever anyone said ur cute remember Ayu! hahaha)...Friends forever eh Ayu... ;-)

3) Illisriyani : This is another of my fave friend. Not that the others are non-faves...but this gurl here was really fun to be with. It was fun hanging out with her, hard to see her in a dark mood...i dun think i ever see her cried before (unlike me and Ayu who sometimes cried in public!haha). Eventho' on the outside...she seemed like a "gila-gila" gurl, she was sensitive to other person's feeling..she was (still is) a vERy LOYAL friend too. Always stood up for me, couldn't even stand the thought of anyone saying bad things bout me. I'm remembering the incident at her school (CGL-Form4-Form 5) when this gurl was about to say something bad about me. She interrupted her by saying "No!She's nice and she's my BEST FRIEND!"...That really stopped her(the other gurl) cold!!
Illis and I, we had much fun together, sharing many secrets, helping each other out in study and love (hehehe, remember Riza or whatever-his-name?), enjoyed playing pranks on others...everything we did together was fun...even going to the school toilet!hahaha!! i remembered there was one time we were coming back from the toilet (or was it canteen) and we were joking around...she said something to me , i mean like teasing me lar and to get back to her, i pulled off her school tudung. I didn't mean to really pull it off...i just wanted to give it a tug, but i guess the tug was pretty the whole thing came off!!! And we were in the corridor where everybody could see her!!! Luckily our classroom was nearby so she galloped like a horse into the classroom and hid behind the cupboard. At first i thought she was mad at me, so i begged and begged for her to forgive me. But i saw that after she came out from behind the cupboard, her shoulder shook with laughter! Hahahaha...sori sesangat Illis...but i still LOL when i think bout it. Anyway,the friendship i shared with her is priceless...Even up to today...she's still a loyal friend...always stay close near me and back me up in everything i do...eventhough we are far in distance...but we're close at heart....Luv ya BuDdY!!!

4) Dayang Zahra : We were quite close in Form 1, and when we entered Form 2, she went to Birmingham with her family. We kept in touch through letters..She came back to school in Form 3. She was a fine friend...always trying to solve our problems for us..always kind to everyone...never boastful though she was from a well-to-do family. We had many, many sleepovers at her house...caved in her pretty-pink bedroom she shared with her sister(or was it purple...i can't remember la), being silly school gurls, gossiping and giggling over cute guys (i had a thing for cute guys back then), and baking brownies-she was a pro! (i tried it at home after that but the brownies i baked turned out as hard as a stone that nobody ate it..hahaha!)...People sometimes mistook us for being sisters...even Ustaz Salleh thought we were sisters...and some teachers called us "Twins"...i guess maybe because we were both chubby and had fair complexion...hehehe...and i always teased her for "copying my face"'s copyright reserved tau!hehehehe... She's now in UiTM Shah Alam completing her master i think...hope the friendship will remain true...

My Upper Secondary School : St. George Girls School
1) Noor Soraya Ahyaudin a.k.a Mickey : She's the most loyal friend i've ever known...Always tried hard to please people and always very helpful too, has very high her family very much, love and appreciate her friends too...she can be obsessed with something if it tickled her fancy, always loved trying out something new...a fast-spender of money(hehehe)..
Mickey and I has a very "special" connection...that is to say...she always knew what was on my mind, and vice versa...We can always detect when one of us had a troubled heart though we tried to hide it by showing a happy face...We went through many ups and downs in life...when people didn't like us being too close and labeled us as "lesbo" (it was this girl who turned out to have some mental problem), when my heart was crushed repetedly by a guy whom i was soooo obsessed about, she was there to help me through it...she gave me encouragement and help me deal with the pain...and I love her for that, and for many, many things she did for me, which i could never repay...Eventho' now she's married and has her own family, we're still the best of friend...and nothing could take away the beautiful friendship we have..Lurve ya gurlie!

2) Nur Hafeezah a.k.a Feezah Microphone : Hahahaha...sorry Feezah...Frankly,this friend of mine is REAL loud! When she's being her LOUD self, u can hear her voice from miles off. She was happy-go-lucky, always had things to laugh about, had massive ideas on how to have fun...hehehe...but she's also sensitive. A simple thing can make her cry (though she seldom showed it, i know u always cried la Feezah)...quite hot-tempered too, simple things could tick her off. Once, this gurl had a crush on my i had to be her postman whenever she was feeling mushy-mushy and wanted to give my bro a love letter. I remember once she bought this gigantic card with a picture of dinosaur in be given to my bro for Valentine. I believe that it was the biggest Valentine card my bro ever received...and imagine me carrying it all the way back home, riding in the school bus with people staring at me and some even giving me funny looks...and the card wasn't even for myself. But of coz i didn't mind...after all it was for my best friend aiiittt...After high school, Feezah and I both got an offer to further our studies in UIA, so our path crossed once again. She was my most trusted and closest friend during the first year i was there...what with me being shy and still missing my friends back home, she was there to ease the pain of separating with friends and family for the first time in my life. She helped me to fit in with the other girls..and she was very patient..Thanx a lot Feezah! Now, we seldom see each other coz she's in KL(wif her husband) while i'm in Penang(without a husband..hehehehe), but whenever she comes over...we definitely won't miss the chance to meet up and update each other on the current happenings in our life....Miss ya Old gurl!

College/University Years :UIA
- Widad Mohd. Ismail : Widad is my only real close friend from the first time i entered the main campus until the end...Not to say that i wuz a loner..(i was not!!! i just couldn't find people i trust enuff in the university ) Of coz i had some good friends scattered here and there in the college...but well, due to the nature of our course...i spend most of my time in the studio and in my room at the college doing works, so i didn't have much time to mingle with friends from other courses. Widad and I was in the same studio from the first year until out final year...we even repeated studio together..hehehehe...Widad was kinda sensitive -maybe because she's the youngest in a family- so we had our own share of fights and quarrels...though it wasn't a wild, shouting match (it was always the cold-treatment with her whenever i did or said things thatt badly hurt her...hehehe...sorry eh Widad!I was soooo thoughtless..)...but being in fight with her sort of tortured me gak la...(hehehe...i'm not gonna let her read this!EVER!!!) coz u see....i was without many good friends then, so losing a friend in fight semmed such a terrible waste...Fortunately, the cold-treatments i got usually didn't last very long. Sometimes, either of us would apologize and sometimes we jez talked again after a few days as if nothing happened....During the final year, we even shared the same cubicle in the each knew whenever one was feeling sad or down...whenever we got scolded by lecturers or the short guy whom both of us hate soo much said things that made steam flowing out from our ears..we always comforted each other....and she was always full of words of wisdom..we also had our own way of joking that most other people didn't understand..whenever we met, people would shake their heads and "shhhhhhhh"ing us for constantly talking and joking and laughing...just couldn't help it!hehehe...i guess in a way we both needed each other as the campus life was a tough one for us...
Even now, after we've graduated and go our own separate way (she's in Kedah and me in Penang of coz), we still keep in touch, calling each other a few times a month...I guess what made us remain friends is becoz she's a friend that understands me and is always patient in keeping up with my mood swing and my thoughtless actions...You are one helluva gurl la Widad! Hope you'll find ur life partner soon....ble la kita kawin sama2, dapat anak sama2 nanti...hehehehe..

I love all these friends of mine...Though we didn't get the chance to form a sisterhood (like in the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants lar...hehehe) but i know that deep in our hearts each of us appreciate the friendships that we've built....and surely we would cherished it till the end of time...

~The Urban Factor~

Oh!NOO!!! There she goes again....*sigh* / It's Teacher's Day
11:20 AM

Do you ever feel like breaking down? Do you ever feel out of place? Like somehow you just don't belong And no one understands you Do you ever wanna run away? Do you lock yourself in your room? With the radio on turned up so loud That no one hears you screaming No you don't know what it's like When nothing feels alright You don't know what it's like to be like me To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked When you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life Do you wanna be somebody else? (YESSSS!!!!) Are you sick of feeling so left out? "Are you desperate to find something more Before your life is over" (SOOO TRUE!) Are you stuck inside a world you hate?(You...A mind reader???) Are you sick of everyone around? With their big fake smiles and stupid lies(Not really...jez sick of myself) While deep inside you're bleeding No you don't know what it's like No one ever lied straight to your face And no one ever stabbed you in the back You might think I'm happy But I'm not gonna be ok.... Everybody always gave you what you wanted You never had to work it was always there You don't know what it's like shit What it's like To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked To be on the edge of breaking down And one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life ...

Hah! There she goes again(sigh)... Jez being in one of my dark mood again...what with no one in the office...yerp!everybody went to kl and i'm left all alone!!! by the way oeo...if ur reading this....MANA ADA HANTU SIANG2??!!! hang jangan nak kelentong aku laaaa...(gosh!i hope it's really true???) ...

Anyway, it's Teacher's Day has been almost ten years now since i last celebrated Teacher's Day...
The best celebration of all were of coz during my primary school...we had soooo much fun each year, celebrating the day...I'd get all excited to get my teacher's some cool presents...and wishing sooo hard that she/he would like my gifts best..hehehe....during that time, teachers were our idols...i'm sure many of us wished to grow up and be like the teachers we admired so much...that's why many2 of us,w hen asked what u wanna be when u grow up....answered with much enthusiasm..."NAK JADI CIKGU!!!" hehehe...not forgetting some people i knew who wanted to be a teacher just because u get to work only half day....and banyak cuti maaaa...hehehehe...
Whatever it me, teaching is a very noble profession...u can make lots of good deeds entering the world of teaching.. though it seems like a simple thing to do -u know like some people would think "what's so hard about it...just repeat what u know to a bunch of kids, that's all u gotta do"-it could actually be tough if u get to teach a bunch of naughty brat and try to mould them into well-behaved, successful person..that's a very challenging work! all my teachers, words can't express my gratitude...but THANX anyway. U made me into who I am now...and I love you for that(even Miss Mah i guess..erk...hehehe...some bad blood between us years ago lar!) .... Hmmm... I think I have to make some effort to keep in touch with all my teachers lah...surely they would appreciate that...

~The Urban Factor~

FeAr IS most definitely a Factor to me...
2:25 PM

When i was coming back to office this afternoon after lunch, I met with some people I fear most in this God-created's the "Grass Cutting Man"....haaaa....."what a silly, funny gurl", most of u would be thinking.......
I just can't help it!I'm soooooo scared of anything that can inflict pain on me..I'm scared of the PAIN itself...I hate needles (syringe), I most definitely dread doing a blood test!Man, even the doctors and lab assistants can sense it, from the way my body goes all rigid and tense of coz....i don't even donate my blood...though i know it's for a good cause...I CAN"T DO IT!I'm too scared! While I was in the university...I always dreaded the day of the month when the grass cutting man would do their job cutting grass all over campus....i'm afraid that the debris and small stones would jump at me and poke me in the eyes or any other part of me...that would definitely HURT!!!
Anyway, I'm a gurl who fears many things in life..really!Besides God and His punishment(that's everyone's fear of coz..), I'm scared of ghost!(ghost can't kill u silly gurl! but still! ghost could strangle u!)...I'm even scared of most animals and insects except for semut maybe...hehehe...can u believe that i can't even touch a butterfly without any feeling of fear in me...hah! that is soo pathethic, REALLY!!
U know people say that cats are Rasullullah's favourite pet..i remember some friends of mine once said to me that being kind to cats really made you feel loving, and lovable too...Well, as a child, i once tried to take a cat into my lap and pat it like a very loving gurl...but unfortunately, it didn't work out for was a very awkward and scariest moment, one i vowed never to repeat again can be imagined, for a while when the cat was sitting cosily on my lap....there i went all mind kept on playing tricks on me, repeating images of the cat flashing it's claws and scratch me till i bleed to death...(my bf always said that i have a highly IMAGINATIVE, not to mention suspicious mind) i had to plead my cousin (or was it my uncle??) to remove it from my lap once and for all..*sigh*...
Well...sesapa yang tau camna nak be more fearless...of everything la...insects and animals...ghost etc..dun hesitate to gimme the tips..hehe...till then....have a fear-free day!!!

~The Urban Factor~

The Letter that Broke My Heart.... ;-)
10:37 AM

Last night...with the intention of finding the "prank letter" written by my two ex-classmates and good friends...I searched my "guni" bag where all the letters had been stored. While browsing through them...I saw this one tiny letter, which caught my attention due it's "cuteness". It's just a jagged piece of paper torn from an exercise book, and very lunyai already...

However, what makes it special is not the appearance, but the contents...written many, many years ago by a very nice but complicated gurl....named Ayu....

The contents are as typed below:

I really pity you, I've never thought that you really do like me, but...I'm not a real friend. Only Muazzah, Bibbi and some boys from my former school understand me. No one else could ever understand me. That's why I'm wishing to 'chow' from this school after PMR. That's the only way for me to be happy.I'd like to hear your happiness, problems or anything but nobody ever gave me the chance. As an philosopher (this word was then crosssed out and replace with another word) 'ahli falsafah' once said "A sad face can hide a happy heart but a happy face can't hide a sad heart". It's not true coz, well...maybe all this while everyone is seeing me as a happy girl, but they don't know my heart. I've never been happy since I came here. Even on my birhday. It used to be happy the happiest day in my life, but now, everything has changed. The bright sunshine that used to shine over me has changed into a dark grey cloud. My life is upside - down but nobody can help me out of this dark zone. Please understand. It's already hard for me to stand in this world. Don't add my problems.
Signed: Ayu "

Hahahaha....this gurl was damn emotional!And complicated too..Hehehe Ayu jangan marah...But seriously when I read the letter last nite, I can't stop smiling and thinking to myself how very different you were back then...I mean look at you now, all smileys and joking around...playing mercun with ur "adik2"...but back then you were almost ALWAYS (and i mean like every day) in a DARK mood....
Care to tell me what THAT was all about?That is if u still can remember it lah...hehehe...

~The Urban Factor~

And I Love Him.....
11:48 AM

I'm sooooo much in love...hehehehe...I know it sounds corny..I mean why would you wanna advertise your love for anyone.Nobody would wanna listen or read about it..ISN'T IT ???!!
Well...I just can't help it...I'm just sooooo filled with love today. And since I dun plan to give my blog add to anyone except for my dearie maybe...YES!YOU gOoGly BeARiE...well, I guess there's no harm in writing this down.....

I got to know my hunnybunny for about 4 years now...and we'd been in love for almost as long..What do I love most bout him?? Hmmmm.....lemme see..I guess I LOVE EVERYTHING bout him....even when he's sooooo comot I jez love him for being that way.. and when he dressed up and wangi2, I love him that way too...I love him as much when I'm sad or happy, when I'm feeling down, excited, anxious....No matter what mood I'm in...I jez LOVE HIM as much as EVER...And it keeps on growing everyday...

I wonder....when some people said you'd get bored after a while, or maybe after getting married, well maybe the person saying it never experience this much love that I share with my hunnybun.If he had the chance to experience this kind of love, maybe then he wouldn't have said what he did about being bored and all....Coz...rEALly.... I can't imagine EVER getting bored being with him...

"I give him all my love That's all I do And if you saw my love You'd love him too And I love him.......He gives me everything And tenderly The **** my lover brings He brings to me And I love him...... He as bright are the stars that shine Dark is the sky I know this love of mine Will never die And I love him.....Bright are the stars that shine Dark is the sky I know this love of mine Will never die And I love him....."

I'm soooooooooo deep in love........Yeay!

~The Urban Factor~

Here With ME....
12:07 PM

Here's a song that i love listening to when i'm down...

"I didn't hear you I wonder how am I still here

And I don't want to move a thing

It might change my memory ........

Oh I am what I am ..........

I'll do what I want ...

But I can't hide.......

I won't go ....

I won't sleep . . . . . . . . . . . .

I can't breathe .....

Until you're resting here with me . . . . . .

I won't leave ...

I can't hide . . . .

I cannot be . . . .

Until you're resting here with me . . .

I don't want to call my friends

They might wake me from this dream

And I can't leave this bed

Risk forgetting all that's been . . . . . . . . . . . "

Haaa!Very touching kannnnn??!???.....I'm soooo fond of memories, coz to me ALL OLD TIMES ARE GOOD TIMES....thus, I'll never wanna forget it all.......

~The Urban Factor~

Life's like that....
11:30 AM

It's been only 2 days since i last wrote in here...Well, i'd been browsing through some of my friends blogs and most of their 1st entry revolved around how they gotta know and introduced to bloggin'...but me.... i straight on put my entry as if I'd been doing it for years.
Actually I was introduced to BLOG quite some time's just that I didn't get the chance to use it...coz i saw no point in going to CC just to do the bloggin' thing...I only go to CC if I have something important to do.But now that I'm working and have sooooo many free time, it seems brilliant to fill some of my time with writing down anything that's bugging me,making me happy...or in that case just anything at all....
Hmmm....yesterday I got back from work at around 6:30pm,and damn! i was so tired though God knows i had nothing much to do at the office. I was damn hungry AFTER having my early dinner, i went straight to bed.My 1st intention was to lay down and rest a bit...but when i opened my eyes again it was already 10.30pm...But that didn't really bothered me as it happened quite often since I started working...What really bothered me was this...
Have you ever waking up with an empty feeling in your heart and stomach...Not the emptiness cause by being hungry...but, I's just a feeling of being lonely...Yes!That's what I felt waking up last nite...I've been experiencing it for as long as I can remember actually...Especially when I sleep in the evening after Asar...It's a feeling that i dun wanna hafta experience...but when it happens I'd be pondering it over and I'd be mulling over how sad I am that no one seems to understand me(????), of how GOOD it would be to have someone with me right there and not waking up to an empty room (btw,it only happens when i'm all alone)..BUT the thing is, at the time that feeling occured I'd be sort of enjoying it..really.....
There were many times when I found myself enjoying being SAD...enjoy crying and feeling self-pity...well,i guess many of us have the same experience....I wonder...when we feel sad and blaming others for making us so...wishing that we could lead a different life and be we really wanna be HAPPY or do we enjoy being SAD and feeling discriminated against somuch; that we dun even make the effort to cast away the distressing mood that has been bugging us?Hmmmm...that's something to be think over........

~The Urban Factor~

.... Away From The Sun......
5:02 PM

It’s down to this...I’ve got to make this life make sense.....Can anyone tell what I’ve done...I missed a LIFE....I missed the colors of the world...Can anyone tell where I am......

Cause now again I found myself so far down.....Away from the sun that shines onto the darkest place....I’m so far down away from the sun again...Away from the sun again

I’m over there...I’m tired of living in the dark....Can anyone see me down here...The feeling’s GONE...There’s nothing left to lift me up...Back into the world I know...

‘Cause now again I found myself so far down....Away from the sun that shines onto the darkest place.....I’m so far down away from the sun...That shines to light the way for me....To find my way back into the arms....And tell about the ones like me....I’m so far down away from the sun again....It’s down in there....I’ve got to make this life make sense.....Now I can’t tell what I’m doing....Now again I found myself away from the sun....That shines to light the way for me....

~The Urban Factor~

11:58 AM

Reunion SGGS Batch '97:The Pinkies - Sharifah,Me,Banafsheh and Aminah Posted by Hello

~The Urban Factor~

11:55 AM

Last weekend wuz a very tiring one for me...filled with lotsa activities...Two of these most remarkable and satisfying events took place on Saturday the 30th(April), which were my BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING...and The Reunion of Class of '97, SGGS...
Well...Feezah's (one of my best friends) wedding was held at Seberang,Penang....I made plans to go with my sweetie; and Soraya & her family (which consists of her hubby and a VERY CUTE son!) . It wuz the longest drive I've had in a quite a long time.It took us about an hour to get to the place.It was most FUN....we chatted like we haven't seen each other for years.Me gossiping with Soraya(my other best friend), laughing and fussing over her extremely CUTE son-Ayman; Yassin, Soraya(d hubby & wife) and my sweetie pie Amin had fun teasing me bout everything from how how chubby my fingers used to be (Thank God it has shrunk!or i'll never hear the end of it!) to how scary it was sitting in the passenger seat besides me while i drive..hehehe...FINE!FINE! i know i'm a bad driver....SO WHAT? i have my sweetie to drive me around, ain't it so dearie?hehehehe...
Well...arriving at Feezah's home, it was already almost 3pm. It was soooooo hot! and we were damn hungry as we did not have our lunch before....After salam with the her parents, we went straight to the long buffet table to enjoy our food. I took only a small portion of rice at first, but the three of them were teasing me of being "shy shy cat" i ended up with my plate full of every edible things that can be found on the table.And I managed to finish it without even realizing that my plate wuz empty!!!
After that, Soraya and I left the two boys and went upstairs to look at the hantaran and bilik pengantin. After taking some pictures with Feezah and Rudy(her hubby now) we made a move to go back home as we still had a busy nite ahead.
And the nite came...............
The school reunion took place at the Fusion Restaurant(is it really Fusion or something else...i dunno!), it's semowhere near to Gurney Hotel...Again,I went with Soraya but this time minus her hubby and Ayman..
The reataurant wuz abuzz with excitement! Imagine seeing your friends again after 8 years...It wuz soooooooo phun to see how some of these people really CHANGED in their appearance,Zetty has really, really slimmed down, so did Shereen and Banaf. And they looked soooo gorgeous EVEN in their casual attire.....others remained the same as if time haven't fly us by...
Soraya was a lil' depressed seeing MANY of them have slimmed down - all the plump,chubby gurls have turned into beautiful stylo women...hahaha....rilex la still the same what...
Again...there were sooooooo many foods displayed on the counter that we can never eat enough of it.All we really did that nite was chatting away,laughing and sharing jokes and stories(and some beauty tips hahaha!so gurlie!) and kept refilling our plates! The restaurant staff must have had the most strenous and wearing day of their life that nite, waiting on us.Hehehe....
All in all...the nite wuz filled with lotsa FUN! FUN! FUN! and Foods, and promises to meet up more often ....

~The Urban Factor~